Sport

THE Summer and Winter Olympics are pretty similar, except one is running and jumping and throwing and the other is a wasteland of frozen deathtraps.

THE Duchess of Cambridge has celebrated becoming patron of English rugby by sinking 12 pints, climbing on the bar and dumping into a pint glass.

TENNIS star Novak Djokovic is to compete in the Australian Open remotely via Zoom, it has been confirmed.

MONEY and woke rules have ruined modern sports, according to old school fan Roy Hobbs. Here's his take on why today’s athletes can never compare to these gods:

ALLOWING Novak Djokovic to stay and compete in the Open could unbalance Australia’s ecosystem of enormous twats, the country has confirmed.

WANT to do competitive physical activity, but not to break a sweat? These five activities are technically sports but medically aren’t.

A KEEN and committed racist has admitted that despite Yorkshire’s exemplary record of bigotry he is still not getting into cricket.

THE rulers of Afghanistan are to buy out Middlesbrough FC for £320 million, the Premier League has confirmed.

REMAINERS have admitted that unprecendented British sporting success the first summer after Brexit is not doing their cause any favours.

THERE are many reasons the education secretary could have confused Rashford and Itoje, and none of them were because they are both black. It was probably one of these: