Agony Aunt
Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) Remember, skinny doesn't feel as good as pork scratchings taste.
I plan to give my wife a good interrogating
Mummy says Newsnight is a boring programme.
I wished for an endless supply of Walkers crisps
I’m afraid your deal wasn’t with a genie, but with the Devil.
Should I get a swastika tattooed on my face?
I'm supposed to be the biggest badass in One Direction.
The most powerful wedgie ever performed
Face the situation head on rather than spend the rest of the school year hiding in the PE cupboard at playtime.
Katie is a competent horsewoman with huge breasts
Granny was hoping it would turn out like The Incredible Journey but it ended up being more like Deliverance.
I am torn between these two lovely cars
Trying using nursery rhymes to make big decisions.
By the time he hits puberty he'll be armpit-farting the theme tune to Eastenders
Boys are really good at some stuff that girls are rubbish at, like precision weeing.
How can I sound convincingly sorry?
Try to imagine Harry Styles being killed by firing squad.
Some aspects of pregnancy are at odds with my glamorous image
How can I inspire millions of wet dreams when I can't comfortably sit down?