the dailymash

Teenage girls deterred by Twilight film's poor reviews

Recession ended by virgin sacrifice

Trump offers to sleep with Obama

STAUNCH Republican Donald Trump has offered Barack Obama a night of unbridled passion, in exchange for the president's withdrawal from the US election.

Boots sandwiches to have Jamie Oliver on them because you'll like that

30 years on, French teacher still hates Michael Gove's guts

Star Trek convention marred by phaser violence

Miliband gets absolute shit kicked out of him

Gorilla Adventure wins Booker Prize

Food parcels being taken by bankers dressed in tracksuit bottoms

Army chiefs blasted over Hello Kitty contract

May says no to tiny lizards

Lady Gaga to eat Kevin Pietersen