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    the dailymash

    Wednesday, 3rd March 2021
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    News Briefly

    Teenage girls deterred by Twilight film's poor reviews

    Recession ended by virgin sacrifice

    Trump offers to sleep with Obama

    STAUNCH Republican Donald Trump has offered Barack Obama a night of unbridled passion, in exchange for the president's withdrawal from the US election.

    Boots sandwiches to have Jamie Oliver on them because you'll like that

    30 years on, French teacher still hates Michael Gove's guts

    Star Trek convention marred by phaser violence

    Miliband gets absolute shit kicked out of him

    Gorilla Adventure wins Booker Prize

    Food parcels being taken by bankers dressed in tracksuit bottoms

    Army chiefs blasted over Hello Kitty contract

    May says no to tiny lizards

    Lady Gaga to eat Kevin Pietersen

    • Mash promotion: Fightmates.com
    • Paul Daniels to stick his hand in a toaster
    • Ed Miliband 'went to Grange Hill'
    • Reader offer: Britain's Biggest Bollockings
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