Arts & Entertainment

I DO NOT live in an underground bunker. Nor am I a lighthouse keeper in the South Atlantic. I have not recently awakened from an eight-year coma. So yes, I have heard of Game of Thrones.

A MAN who introduces himself as a ‘part-time DJ’ manages to also hold down a full-time position as a twat.

THE mating season for nerds has begun early with the release of the new Star Wars trailer.

A MAN who has found local success with an amusing anecdote about losing his dog has announced he will be taking it on a nationwide tour.

THERE’S nothing more relaxing than sitting in front of the television telling every smug, supercilious twat on there to go and fuck themselves. But who are you saying it to, and why?

DID you get into Game of Thrones but are reluctantly realising that it’s the same old fantasy bollocks with more torture and tits? Here’s how to pretend it’s deep one last time.

AN awestruck 15-year-old is breathlessly telling everyone how incredible Kurt Cobain was and what a terrible loss his death was.

A MAN who thinks his flat cap makes him resemble a stylish 1920s gangster actually resembles an elderly Yorkshireman in a gentle comedy, according to friends.

A 'WOKE' man is twisting himself in knots attempting to explain some Mötley Crüe CDs in his car.

AN amateur photographer has captured the exact moment she realised she bought an expensive camera for nothing.