Arts & Entertainment

SEVERAL middle-aged friends are regretting buying tickets to a festival this summer.

A MAN has decided to stop hiding his true musical orientation and tell everyone he likes Sting.

A WOMAN who calls herself ‘a big fan’ of classical music only knows the Game of Thrones theme tune, it has emerged.

CHILDREN have demanded to know why television programmes aimed at them are all incredibly weird.

MARVEL comics is to introduce a diverse storyline where the same old shit doesn't happen.

JAMIROQUAI now seems alright compared to the many bigger knobs who are around in 2017, it has emerged.

A CULTURAL event is unaccountably taking place outside of London, it has emerged.

SOCIALLY inclusive children's show Sesame Street is to introduce a paranoid right-wing crab who loves guns, Fox News and internet conspiracies.

A MAN would regularly watch the same Neighbours episode twice in a day during the 1980s, he has revealed.

A 41-year-old man has announced he finally gets bands like My Bloody Valentine and Ride.