Arts & Entertainment

PENNYWISE the Dancing Clown from Stephen King’s It has announced his availability for childrens’ parties for nothing.

A HUNGOVER history teacher accidentally started teaching scenes from Game of Thrones as real events, it has emerged.

TAYLOR Swift's new song does not have deeper levels and is just a shit thing, it has been confirmed.

THE steamroller that crushed Terry Pratchett’s hard drive should also do Jeffrey Archer’s, it has been claimed.

MARY Berry has congratulated the hosts of Channel 4’s Great British Bake Off for betraying everything baking stands for.

A MAN has blamed a hangover for making him cry at a repeat of animated comedy film Despicable Me.

FANS of Game of Thrones have begun watching some 13-year-old boys playing Dungeons & Dragons.

ANGRY Doctor Who fans have condemned the programme after realising it is total bollocks.

A NEW science fiction series is set in an alternate reality where Donald Trump is a wise and kind leader of humanity.

A MIDDLE-AGED music fan who insisted that anyone claiming to enjoy rap music is lying has finally accepted some of them must be genuine.