Arts & Entertainment

Devil regrets making deal with Ed Sheeran

THE Devil has admitted he was wrong to allow Ed Sheeran to exchange his soul for fame.

Mel Gibson turning Scottish referendum into wildly inaccurate blockbuster

MEL Gibson is to make the next Scottish referendum into a thrilling but poorly researched action movie.

American right-wingers fine about woman having relationship with hideous buffalo thing

RIGHT-WINGERS in the US are totally fine with a young woman being in a relationship with some sort of hideous buffalo man, they have confirmed.

Woman in art gallery just guessing how long to stand in front of each painting

A WOMAN at an art exhibition admitted she does not know how long to stand in front of each picture and is having to guess.

20th anniversary of Buffy the Vampire Slayer perfect time to admit it was a load of toss

TWENTY years on from the first episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, many of its viewers are ready to admit for the first time that it was nothing but toss.

Everyone nearly ready to admit Trainspotting 2 was pretty awful

THE general public are just about ready to admit T2 Trainspotting is absolutely shocking, it has been confirmed.

Thingy from Harry Potter mixed up in some load of bollocks

THINGY who was in Harry Potter is in a mood about some load of bollocks, it has emerged.

Hugh Grant's Love Actually character now a far-right lunatic

HUGH Grant’s politician character from Love Actually is now a raving far-right lunatic who hates immigrants, it has emerged.

Mark E. Smith celebrates 60th birthday with promise to be less mainstream

AS he celebrates his 60th birthday Mark E Smith has pledged to be ‘less mainstream and easy going’.

Man not sure if book is good enough to go in toilet

A MAN is unsure if the humorous travel book he has just read is of a high enough standard to qualify as lavatory reading.