Arts & Entertainment

A 33-YEAR-OLD is absolutely horrified at the utter crap that today’s 26-year-olds believe to be good music.  

FANS of Iron Maiden are somehow unaffected by the self-consciousness epidemic sweeping the Western world.

A THREE-YEAR-OLD is wondering how poor her artwork has to be for her parents not to display it on the fridge.

A 47-YEAR-OLD man can still tell you exactly how the whole of Jet Set Willy’s mansion was laid out, including short-cuts.

AN 82-YEAR-OLD man has passed away after a brief bout of amateur dramatics, it has been confirmed.

A REMAKE of Fawlty Towers has been criticised for stereotyping the English as stupid and gormless because they voted for Brexit.

A 35-year-old man at a hip hop gig is questioning everything, it has been revealed.

JEREMY Corbyn was the main baddie in a Roger Moore-era James Bond film, it has been revealed. 

THE Baftas have rendered themselves invalid by failing to give every possible award to the best film ever made, Paddington 2. 

YOU like that song? It’s a shame for you. So basic, so unenlightened. Because I, like all discerning people, vastly prefer the remix.