Arts & Entertainment

THE BBC is under fire for defiling the white race and encouraging intimacy with people of colour.

COUNTDOWN is to outsource its numbers round to India following major budget cuts by Channel Four.

MILLIONS of viewers have contacted British Telecom urging them to end the pathetic relationship at the heart of their long-running series of TV adverts.

HOLLYWOOD'S A-list has gathered in New York for the premiere of the latest Batman film not to feature the Batusi.

THE Jeremy Kyle show has been censured by the television watchdog Ofcom for broadcasting a Scotsman during a daytime programme. 

BRITAIN was absolutely bursting with excitement last night at the prospect of going to see Mamma Mia this weekend.

The Hugh Grant movie Four Weddings and a Funeral has been voted the best British film of all time by a bunch of arseholes.

HOLLYWOOD could grind to a halt this week after some of the world's biggest stars threatened to pretend to go on strike.

BIG Brother contestants are to be given more bananas and a tyre on a rope, Channel 4 said last night.

ALL programmes and adverts shown on British television will have to be approved by a committee of 200 latent homosexuals, it was confirmed last night.