Arts & Entertainment

SEVEN million people in the UK are illegally downloading the sort of music and films you wouldn't pay for even as you heard the ominous click of a gun being cocked.

ITV freak show Britain Must Be Stopped last night defended its decision to show footage of an insane, dancing freak.

OFCOM, the broadcasting watchdog, is to launch a full-scale inquiry into televised nipples, it emerged last night.

BATTLESTAR Galactica was last night hailed as the most intelligent and thoughtful drama ever to be set on a battlestar.

MATCH of the Day has gone to its dark place and has urged viewers not to follow.

FEARS were growing last night that the landmark television series Red Riding may have been a lot of shit.

BRITNEY Spears kicked off her first major tour in five years with a larynx-free performance that was no better than a dancing corpse puppet, angry fans said last night.

THE BBC has launched an inquiry after claims a member of the winning team on University Challenge may not have been a lazy, self-indulgent ponce.

POPULAR music is to remain precisely as it is for ever and ever after Oasis were named best band at last night's NME awards.

TORY leader David Cameron last night vowed to double-check the ages of all artists mentioned in speeches by the prime minister.