Celebrity

Royal baby growing uncontrollably

THE royal baby is growing at an alarming rate.

OK! magazine reporting on celebrity afterlives

INCREASINGLY deranged gossip magazine OK! is to begin covering the love lives and confessions of celebrities post-mortem.

Wiley turned into a cow

RAPPER Wiley has been turned into a heifer by the witches of Cumbria.

Baby named after George Formby, Alexander Graham Bell and Louis Gossett Jnr

THE name of the new royal baby is a reflection of his parents' deepest passions, it has been confirmed.

Now give us the baby, say Welsh

THE Welsh have demanded the royal baby be given to them so the initiation can begin.

Royal baby to be named 'Chunky'

THE royal baby is to be named Chunky, regardless of its gender, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have confirmed.

JK Rowling recorded two dubstep albums as Burial

HARRY Potter author JK Rowling has been revealed as the enigmatic dubstep producer Burial.

Murray knighthood would be like 'world's greatest dad' t-shirt

AWARDING a knighthood to Andy Murray would be a bit pathetic, it has been confirmed.