Celebrity

FOLLOWING the success of Kate's breasts and Pippa's arse, plans are underway to launch a third Middleton sister who will have a 'controversial vagina'.

ACCORDING to a fourth century papyrus Jesus had a wife that he absolutely despised.

PRINCE William wants to have two children with his wife while commandeering hundreds more to work as slaves in his palace.

RUSSELL Brand realised he was addicted to celebrity sex after a passionate one-night stand with Chris Evans, it has emerged.

PRINCE Harry’s naked buttocks are a blank screen onto which Britain will project its hopes and dreams, it has been confirmed.

SCREEN siren Angelina Jolie is to help herself to Justin Theroux, her spokesman has announced.

KATIE Holmes has left the world of Scientology for a more normal type of bullshit by experimenting with Catholicism.

THE pre-nuptial agreement between Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes guarantees the Mission Impossible actor sole custody of his wife's Operating Thetan.

THE break-up of Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis has left heterosexual men unsure which one they like most.

DOZENS of celebrities are rich, it has emerged.