Food

A CLEARLY psychotic family are having a full table-service meal before boarding their flight.

A MAN has been astounded to learn that a Michelin-starred restaurant provides a more enjoyable experience than a Wetherspoons. 

MASTERCHEF producers looking for a new presenter who will not inject inappropriate sexuality into the show have decided Nigella Lawson would be perfect.

A MAN who does not eat animal products is at the same time gripped with the heat-induced urge to grill something fatty and oozing with delectable juices.

IT IS oppressively hot, so time to stand over sizzling fat on a red-hot grill while wearing a twat’s apron. But what’s the slogan on yours?

A TWIX advert has been banned for breaching obscenity law by showing a man consuming both fingers simultaneously and loving it.

A GROUP of friends paying for unlimited amounts of food are thrilled about only being able to eat as much as they would normally. 

PLANNING to eat food in the near future? Avoid these foodstuffs that seem to take sadistic pleasure in ruining your clothes.