Food

THE looming threat of World War III has led to millions of diets being put on hold.

A COUPLE genuinely believe they will be able to quit their jobs and make a living selling an expensive ‘artisanal’ version of muesli.  

HORDES of starving KFC regulars are searching for any other food outlet that will serve them meals in a bucket.

LOYAL KFC customers have been intrigued to discover the beige blobs they were eating were actually chicken.

TOMATO ketchup believes it can win its century-long battle against HP Sauce before the end of the decade, it has announced.

A MAN has enjoyed just enough food and is not going to eat any more until the next meal, it has emerged.

CARNIVORES have confirmed that they are willing to try any recipe that includes a vegan.

CONSUMING fast food on a train is more offensive than open public urination, passengers have agreed.

A WOMAN has saved hours a week she used to spend on baking by just going around begging people to like her, she has revealed.

BRITAIN wants the ‘latte levy’ to be followed by as many punitive taxes on coffee obsessives as possible.