Health

UNBEARABLE arseholes are on standby to slam possible light pandemic restrictions as an unjustified authoritarian attack on freedom.

CHILDREN aged 12-15 are deciding whether or not to get vaccinated entirely on how much it will piss off their parents, they have confirmed.

THE government’s plan for managing the pandemic over the next six months is an emoji of a woman shrugging, it has revealed.

THERE’S an unexpected heatwave, so as a Briton you have no option but to overdo your sun exposure. Here are the best ways.

A MAN who is neither a father nor subject to the stresses of being a parent still has the proper dad bod, witnesses have agreed.

THE summer holidays are over and children aged between four and 16 are enjoying their first day back at the frontline of a pandemic.

A PROMINENT Covid-denier has fallen ill after contracting a virus – and you won't believe which one!

KEEN to double down on your mental vaccination theories while reality seems intent on proving them wrong? Try these gambits.

A MORON who was uninterested in getting the Covid vaccine to protect himself and others has had a change of heart after being offered a free double cheeseburger. 

THE double-vaccinated will soon be allowed to attend gigs, go to nightclubs, travel abroad and put their rubbish in your wheelie bin. What else?