Health

ANYONE 30 and over invited to be vaccinated has been told they are still not getting affordable housing, free higher education or stable jobs.

THE government has told Britons they are now free to hug, mix indoors and drink inside pubs, and warned them not to.

Despite being a mainstay on UK high streets, a man is still not sure what a Holland & Barrett actually is.

A WOMAN has awoken to discover her nap was a terrible, terrible mistake.

A MAN is horrified to realise he has started making unusual grunting noises whenever he uses a urinal.

YOU'RE keen to get back to your public pool, but don’t forget your hazmat suit. There's still plenty to make you gag.

CLAIMING to have got through lockdown without putting a toe out of line? Apart from these rules, which you broke if you’re being honest.

OVER 40? Keen not to feel like a sack of shit? 44-year-old Martin Bishop details six things that will set you back two days if you even attempt them.

A WOMAN who has just joined 25 million Britons in having her Covid vaccine is mortified she forgot to share her special news on social media.

A SMUG bellend is already back in the gym to give his rippling vanity a workout, he has confirmed.