International

Man waiting for correct opinion on Iran helicopter crash to emerge so he can have it

A MAN is withholding any views thoughts on the death of Iran’s president in a helicopter crash until the acceptable opinion comes to light and he can claim it as his own.

Assassination while Europe teeters on brink of war 'thrillingly retro', says world

THE world is feeling a warm glow of nostalgia thanks to the uncanny historical similarities that can be read into the shooting of the Slovakian prime minister.

We ask you: why are foreign cities so hostile to pissed-up Brits urinating on monuments?

MAGALUF, Amsterdam – seemingly everywhere in Europe has unaccountably turned against the traditional drunken British tourist. But why?

Donald Trump's guide to styling out a flatulence problem

IT’S claimed that Donald Trump’s long hours in the courtroom are causing him to emit a large amount of anal gas. Here he explains how to minimise the embarrassment in various situations.

Lourdes, and other hot new locations for your stag party

PRAGUE and Amsterdam no fun anymore? Looking for new locations to stagger around hammered before pissing against a historical monument?

We ask you: could you be an unbiased juror in Donald Trump's trial, or do you think he's a knobhead?

DONALD Trump is on trial for financial malfeasance in New York. Could you serve as a juror, or have you unaccountably developed opinions about him?