Lifestyle

Cockblocking friend just the extra hurdle man chatting up woman needed

A MAN who was ‘cockblocked’ whilst chatting up a woman in a nightclub has revealed it was just what he did not need at that moment.

Cost of living pretentiously in London up 50 percent

THE daily cost of living like an affected tw*t in the capital has rocketed in the last year, it has emerged.

Astrology fan perplexed she can't get boyfriend

A WOMAN who is a strong believer in astrology cannot understand why her strange supernatural belief system has not led to a lasting relationship.

The middle class parents' guide to making the holidays 'educational'

ARE you aspirational parents who think the summer holidays should be a gruelling educational experience? Here’s how to make your kids cleverer than their friends.

Are you edgy or just desperately seeking attention?

ARE you genuinely edgy, deep and enigmatic or is it a thinly veiled attempt to get attention? Take our test and find out.

Nonconformist couple living off home-grown veg and parent-grown inheritance

A COUPLE are totally independent thanks to food they grow themselves and money they inherited from their families.

'You can have it all' confirms man who squeezed in two wanks before work

MEN can 'have it all' according to a 38-year-old who managed to masturbate twice before work.

The six tricks to sleeping through a heatwave

IT’S boiling hot, you’re sticky and total b*stards keep driving past in their noisy cars. Try getting a cool seven hours with these tips. 

Woman not sure whether she's wet herself or just really sweaty

A WOMAN driving in the heatwave is so sweaty she is wondering whether it is possible she might have actually p*ssed herself. 

Five things to be a pedantic twat about

DO you feel the need to argue obscure points that genuinely intelligent people don’t waste their time with? Here are some great things to bang on about.