Five totally unrealistic career paths to waste your life on

WHY waste your life in a boring office job when you can waste your life chasing a much more exciting job you’ll never actually get to do?  

The manipulative bastard's guide to putting people on the spot

ARE you about to ask someone for a favour, but are afraid they’ll say no? Here’s how to catch them off guard and make them do what you want.

Man congratulates himself on seven days of not drinking much

A MAN who went for pretty much a week without drinking a massive amount has given himself a pat on the back for his restraint.    

Man beginning to think he should own more than two pairs of trousers

A 35-YEAR-OLD man feels that at this stage in his life he should probably own more than two pairs of trousers.  

How are you avoiding getting a round in?

NOT getting rounds in means you can enjoy all the fun of the pub with none of the expense. So what are the best ways to avoid putting your hand in your pocket? Read our guide.

Woman congratulates herself for thinking about donating blood

A WOMAN has praised herself after considering the possibility of donating blood.

Stoner to miss official cannabis day

A WEED-SMOKER will inevitably miss the official stoner day ‘4/20’ due to being in a cannabis-induced haze.  

Time deliberately speeding up and slowing down just to f**k with you

TIME deliberately goes faster when you are enjoying something and grinds to a halt when you are in a miserable situation, it has been confirmed.

Parents always choose same food they have at home in restaurants

A WOMAN is wondering why her parents bother to eat out when they always choose food that is indistinguishable from what they have at home.

Man just goes to cinema to be outraged by price of everything

A MAN has admitted he only goes to the cinema to indulge in righteous fury at the prices.