Lifestyle

THE October half-term is here. Where are you going for another doomed attempt at a holiday? Try these hellholes.

NEVER achieved much? Imagine you’re special and boost your self-esteem by taking a weird amount of pride in these non-achievements.

YOU’VE got a new puppy. Should your employer give you three weeks paid leave to enjoy learning to live and grow together? F**k they should.

KIDS been quiet for five minutes? Cause a massive childcare emergency by attempting to do one of these simple things.

A SINGLE man who lives by himself owns and does all his cooking with one single pan, it has emerged.

THAT thing you used to have? Selling for a grand on eBay now. If only you'd kept it, along with all this shit.

A WOMAN has unleashed Armageddon by removing herself from a WhatsApp group for school mums.

AS a child did you think you’d die if you didn’t own certain items of tat? Here are the things you pestered your parents endlessly to get.

A TEENAGE boy has announced his intention to have a radical growth spurt that will render his school uniform redundant by half-term.

ARE you worryingly close to the age of 50? Here’s how you’ll suddenly realise you’re really quite old.