Six TV shows that used to be so massive they made headlines

I’M A Celebrity is back to the excitement of a rapidly dwindling number of viewers. It’s hard to believe but this kind of crap used to make headlines.

Just say 'woke' once a paragraph: A guide to being a Telegraph columnist

WANT a lucrative job churning out opinions for the Daily Telegraph? Follow this tried-and-tested advice for writing pandering, reactionary drivel.

Five twee stories BBC news will report on instead of Tory incompetence

NEED the scoop on the latest government f**k-up? Here’s the inane shit BBC news will inform you about instead.

A child of the 80s' guide to getting through the ad break

BACK in the 1980s, there was no choice but to sit through an ad break waiting for the show to resume. Here’s how we coped.

Local man succeeds in getting on news

AN unexceptional local man has finally achieved his ambition of appearing on a national news programme. 

Five ways for BBC News to avoid saying 'It's because of Brexit'

BREXIT has been a disaster in many fields, but the BBC are duty-bound not to say it. What are they saying instead?

'I have found another vessel' says demonic spirit known as Nigel Farage

THE bodiless demon the earthly plane knows as ‘Nigel Farage’ has proclaimed that GB News will be a fine vessel for him until he burns it out.

How to wean your parents off the Daily Mail

THE Daily Mail is is unquestionably the worst, most vindictive newspaper out there, but your parents still insist on buying it every day. Here's how to wean them off it.

The five awful adverts YouTube bombards you with

YOUTUBE loves to batter you over the head with the same adverts. Here are the five same terrible ones you’ll have to watch forever.

Six advertising slogans that are absolute bullshit

ADVERTISING is all about creativity, innovation and paying arseholes to make up bullshit. Here are six peak-bollocks slogans.