Man unaware he was having crisis of masculinity until Guardian told him

A MAN is worried he is not properly engaging with the ‘crisis of masculinity’ he read about in the Guardian.

Only another 20 to 30 years of Brexit headlines, experts predict

EXPERTS have predicted that the British media will be able to cover subjects other than Brexit by approximately the middle of the 21st century.

Nan afraid that news of Royal baby will get lost in all this Brexit nonsense

A GRANDMOTHER is concerned that all the Brexit nonsense constantly on the news might overshadow the birth of a new Royal baby.

Mums ever so grateful to Daily Mail for parenting tips

MOTHERS across Britain have thanked the Daily Mail for always pointing out that they are doing every single fucking thing wrong.

Guardian thinks women are a team

THE Guardian has decided women are like a big sports team who all women are massive fans of.

'I'm being silenced by the media' says Tommy Robinson in every single newspaper

TOMMY Robinson, an 'activist' and 'campaigner' has attacked the press for silencing him, every media outlet has confirmed.

Post-Brexit news to be available on Ceefax page 555

THE UK’s primary source of information after Brexit will be page 555 on Ceefax.

John Humphrys to be pain in the arse at local old folks' club

PENSIONERS are dreading John Humphrys’ retirement from Radio 4 as he is bound to make a pest of himself at the local Darby and Joan.

Daily Mail readers getting dangerously close to witch-burning

THE Daily Mail’s outdated coverage of women is causing readers to suspect some of them may be witches.

Old racist in Stoke interviewed by media for 178th time

A PENSIONER with strong but largely misinformed views about Brexit is to be interviewed by the media yet again, for some reason.