Man more gutted about loss of Q Magazine than loss of elderly grandma

A MAN is more upset that coronavirus stole from him the opportunity to discover the 50 best Oasis B-sides than the chance to see his old nan one last time.

Six Sun headlines that could make it even more repulsive than it already is

THE Sun is the worst of Britain and has been for 40 years. But can it continue its downward spiral into evil? Perhaps with these headlines: 

The Guardian's guide to why you shouldn't enjoy that

OH dear, it looks like you’re enjoying something which the Guardian says you shouldn't. Here staff writer Nathan Muir explains how to feel guilty about everything.

We're still evil despite being right about this one, confirms Daily Mail

THE Daily Mail has confirmed it is still evil to the core despite being right about the Dominic Cummings affair.

Guardian and Mail readers exchange gifts in no man's land

GUARDIAN and Daily Mail readers exchanged gifts in no man’s land during a rare moment of solidarity before going back to hating each other.

Take a holiday of the mind, says Guardian philosopher who can f**k off

A PHILOSOPHER writing for the Guardian who has proposed that Britons take a ‘holiday of the mind’ clearly needs to f**k off.

The tabloids' guide to appalling coronavirus bullshit

NOW, more than ever, we need our tabloids. Here Sun journalist Roy Hobbs explains how their daily dose of shrieking, fabricated hysteria is keeping Brits sane in their darkest hour.

The BBC's impartial guide to why the license fee is worth it

NO serious person, whatever their politics, could ever doubt that the BBC is unfailingly impartial. Jane Hill unbiasedly explains why £154.50pa is a bargain.

Six ways the British press could actually get worse

BRITISH newspapers are famous for intrusive coverage, personal hate campaigns and outright lies. But could they sink lower?

Daily Mail renames itself the Daily F**k You Meghan We Hate You

THE Daily Mail has renamed itself the Daily F**k You Meghan We Hate You in recognition of its core focus as a publication.