John Lewis Christmas advert stars dragon who burns his own d*ck off

THE new John Lewis advert stars Excitable Edgar, a dragon who burns off his own penis and has to wait until Christmas for a new one. 

Why could men possibly want to be pick-up artists, wonders baffled Guardian

THE Guardian has puzzled over why men could possibly want to be expert at picking up women for no-strings sex, and has found no answers.

The Daily Mail guide to making normal human behaviour creepy

FANCY insinuating that ordinary things people do are illicit, immoral and bad? The Daily Mail knows how.

'I caused Brexit to further my career,' admits Laura Kuenssberg

BBC political editor Laura Kuenssberg has admitted she is the Machiavellian puppet master behind Brexit, which she triggered to boost her career.

Review of the decade lists can f**k right off, says everyone

THE entire British population has experienced a rare moment of unity to tell ‘review of the decade’ lists to f**k right off.

Seven reasons to never buy The Sun

THE Sun is Britain’s favourite race-hate tabloid that acts like we’re constantly at war, but it’s a mistake to ever read it. Here are seven reasons why:

The Daily Telegraph guide to reporting the opposite of reality

DO YOU struggle to understand Daily Telegraph reportage which appears to come from a mirror-universe?

BBC to employ people from all types of middle-class backgrounds

The BBC is to launch a diversity initiative that will see it employ people from a broader range of middle-class backgrounds.

The 16 things you need to own to be a Guardian reader

YOU may browse it online now and then to see what the liberal elite think, but to truly be a Guardian reader you need to live the Guardian lifestyle.

How to comment on Mail Online

ARE you unsure how to jump into commenting in the bearpit of vicious invective that is the Daily Mail’s website?