A COUPLE who joked about how putting IKEA furniture together would ruin their relationship now have half a Billy bookcase and hate each other's guts.
A WOMAN would not have a problem going out with a grotesque amphibious creature compared to most of the men she has dated, she has revealed.
A MAN’S domineering girlfriend is always making him do some pointless thing like going to a local festival or trying a new balti place, it has emerged.
A MAN who is constantly telling people that he ‘doesn’t do relationships’ has not actually been offered one in years, it has been revealed.
A HAPPY couple will celebrate their 10th Valentine’s Day by doing just about enough to make it to next year.
PETROL stations have stocked up on cheap, manky flowers in time for Valentine's Day.
A FIRST-YEAR student has suddenly realised, mid-term, that everyone he lives with is a total and utter dick.
A MAN does not realise that everything he said on a first date was vetted via text message by a select panel of his date’s friends.
IF you have not yet planned Valentine’s Day for your loved one, you have already fucked up and they will know it, experts have confirmed.