Relationships

The incredibly hot people you never got off with and still yearn for today

FROM your fit maths teacher to your cute former boss, there are certain people it was never going to happen with. Join us on a nostalgic journey of sexual regret.

Shouting at them not to shout: five terrible examples to set your kids

EVERY parent is keen to set an example, so make sure to provide a really awful one by incorporating these into the average day.

The things you did to try and get laid that now make you cringe with shame

DO you look back on your youth and feel gruesome embarrassment about your pathetic attempts to have sex? Take this toe-curling trip down memory lane.

Six things better than sex when you're in your 40s

IN THEORY you’re totally down to f**k, but since you turned 40 there’s so much that’s more satisfying than making the beast with two backs.

Six easy ways to dump your lockdown hookup

DID you start a lockdown relationship, but now it’s freedom time? Here’s how to let them know as painlessly as a ping from the app.

Two acquaintances panic as mutual friend heads to bathroom

TWO people who barely know each other have been thrust into crisis after their mutual friend went for a pee.

Pissing on the toilet seat, and your boyfriend's other favourite hobbies

WHILE your boyfriend may have some virtues, it’s hard to look past these profoundly infuriating habits.

Joining the chess club, and other things that delayed the loss of your virginity

DID you make some decisions during your teenage years that acted as pure sexual kryptonite? These will be familiar.

Your six twattiest relatives

YOU can choose your friends but you can’t choose your family, and in particular you definitely wouldn’t choose these bellends.

Five dumb but fair dating dealbreakers

There are good and bad reasons not to pursue a relationship, and sometimes the bad reasons mean more in the long run. Here’s five of them.