Relationships

How to not get dumped by a partner way better than you deserve

YOU know it. Everyone knows it. You’re involved with someone who’s way more attractive than you and it can’t last. But take heart - here’s how to postpone the inevitable.

'I’m busy with my hobbies': Six terrible excuses for not having sex

IS your sex life a barren wasteland of involuntary celibacy? Here’s how to unconvincingly claim you’re absolutely fine with that.

You don't actually like each other, and five other relationship red flags

IS your romantic relationship the envy of your friends, or is it held back by not being able to stand each other?

Player husband dropping hints he still has sex with wife

AN office worker is lording it over his colleagues by alluding that he still occasionally has carnal knowledge of his wife.

The awkward loser's guide to hitting on women

WANT to approach women but don't know how? Awkward loser Martin Bishop explains how to ineptly seduce the fairer sex.

New dating trend is never actually meeting any of them

THE hot new dating trend is to endlessly f**k around on apps and never actually go on any dates with anybody, it has emerged.

A long-haul flight, and other awful places to be dumped

WORRIED your relationship is on the rocks? Here are some awful locations to get dumped in that will really rub salt into the wound.

The best ways to get yourself out of the mood for sex

ARE you and your partner both in the mood to get down and dirty? Here are five excellent tips for ruining the moment before you’ve even got started:

Browsing incognito, and other things men know more about than women

THE male species might be a bunch of mansplaining know-it-alls, but there are some things they genuinely know more about than women. Here are just a few...

Not having your own side of the bed, and other unhinged relationship behaviours

RELATIONSHIPS are largely arguments about chores, not having sex and staying together out of habit. But this out-there shit is the province of true freaks.