Science & Technology
                            Pope's first retweet is man making love to some cheese
                            
                    THE Pope has followed up his first tweet by retweeting a picture of a man inserting his penis into a block of Swiss cheese.
                            Private moon trips to include terrifying secret
                            
                    PRIVATE trips to the moon will include a horrifying secret that changes everything.
                            Humans buying any shit with 'immune system' written on it
                            
                    EVERYONE is freaking out about their immune system, it has emerged.
                            3D printers 'a total pile of shit'
                            
                    THREE-dimensional printers are obviously a complete waste of time, it has emerged.
                            Hawking baffled by electricity bill
                            
                    LEADING physicist Stephen Hawking cannot understand the tariffs charged by his electricity supplier.
                            Bank machines to squirt beer
                            
                    A NEW type of bank machine that knows users' habits will squirt lager directly into their mouths.