Society

Six things to buy and never use

Want to make yourself feel better through mindless consumerism? Here are some items to purchase and forget.

Working long hours for shit wages doesn't make you working class

BRITONS have been informed that mere labouring for long hours in precarious jobs for minimum wage does not entitle them to call themselves ‘working class’.

The seven mums you meet on parenting Facebook

GOT children? Desperate to not be suffering alone? Then you’ve visited a parenting group on Facebook and met these people.

The six twats that love to sit in your train carriage

EVER think that irritating twats deliberately sit in your train carriage? Yeah, they do. Here’s the line-up of rail companions for your next 100 journeys.

Britons pretending to enjoy sun through gritted teeth 

PEOPLE across the UK have miserably begun their annual ritual of pretending to enjoy temperatures above 18 degrees Celsius.

Ten new commandments for modern life

EVERYONE’S got Thou Shalt Not Kill by now, and coveting thy neighbour’s ox isn’t what it was. Follow these ten new commandments for modern life.

Five rich person problems to moan about at the school gates

WORRIED people don't realise you are substantially more successful than they are? Make it clear with these topics.

Dog and bone - smartphone: A guide to gentrified Cockney rhyming slang

MOST genuine Eastenders have been displaced by coffee outlets and tech startups. So how has Cockney rhyming slang changed?

The five best imaginary scandals to start a culture war over

THERE might not be rationing or gas masks, but a war is raging right now: the ‘culture war’. Here are the best concocted scandals people are losing their shit over.

Six pathetic insecurities men won't admit to

AS a man, do you feel you should be an ‘alpha male’? Here are some of the pathetic and unrealistic things you’re probably secretly worried about.