Society

Five people you'll regret including in your social bubble

A RELAXATION of social distancing will give everyone a social bubble of a maximum ten people they are allowed to see. Which will you regret?

Five ways lockdown may exacerbate your natural Britishness

HALF the world is on lockdown, but only in these sceptre’d isles does it manifest like this. Which symptoms are you suffering from?

Mums' WhatsApp group sharing helpful tips on freebasing

A GROUP of mums are supporting each other through lockdown by pooling their knowledge about getting high.

Britain rushes off to rubbish tips to get pissed

THE reopening of Britain’s rubbish tips has seen thousands of people head down there to dispose of a fridge and get wrecked.

Twat with stupid car finding lockdown perfect opportunity to be extra dickish

A MAN with a fast, noisy car is treating the quiet roads of lockdown like his own personal racetrack.  

Kids learning an average of six new swear words a day at home school

CHILDREN are learning at least half a dozen offensive words per day during the lockdown.

Man who wants lockdown to end didn't stay at home in the first place

A MAN making a fuss about wanting the lockdown to end has spent the last six weeks having barbecues with his friends and popping to the shops twice a day.

Homeschooling mum apologises for not learning new language and how to play the glockenspiel

A SINGLE mother in lockdown with three children has said she is sorry that she won't be coming out of this experience with a new skill.  

Five previously bad habits that are now totally acceptable

SELF-DISCIPLINE has gone out of the window during the lockdown, meaning you can get away with indulging bad habits. Try these out for starters.

'I'm saving so much money!' says twat who can't read the room

A TONE-DEAF twat is excitedly sharing how much money he is saving during the lockdown.