Society

A NEW scratchcard has dropped images of yachts and palm trees in favour of what winners will actually spend their money on.

A THIRD-YEAR student has pulled an all-night session to finally work out what he thought an English Literature degree would be good for.

HELLO, Britain. Boris here. You’ve probably heard that I’m about to become a father. Well, being a good dad is a lot like running the country. Here’s how I do it.

THE Downing Street wedding is to be a better, less ungrateful do-over of 2018’s upsetting Royal wedding, Conservatives have confirmed.

A MAN has warned against any return to the decade from which he benefited enormously.

PARENTS waste six years of their lives getting their children into the f**king car, research has confirmed.

MIDDLE-AGED? Do you sometimes notice that life is less weird than when you were growing up? What happened to these things?

A TODDLER became so distressed about lumps in the socks she was expected to wear that she is in therapy.

A MAN attempting to host a playdate without being aware of its highly complex social nuances has predictably f**ked it right up.

A MIDDLE-CLASS six-year-old not allowed toy weapons has discovered that anything can be a gun if you point it and make the noises.