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Good thing we stockpiled, say f**kwits

BRITONS stuck at home for months have reflected that it is a good thing they stockpiled or they would not have all this rice. 

Parents convinced teachers must have superpowers to cope with this shit

AFTER one week of attempting to teach their children at home parents now believe teachers must be superhuman.

Man singing on London balcony told to shut the f**k up

A MAN who wanted to make a video for social media about people coming together has been told to f**k right off by his neighbours.

Stupid things to do in lockdown you'll regret when it's over

ARE your feelings of anxiety and peril making you think it’s a good idea to text your ex? Don’t. This will pass and you’ll feel like a twat. Here are some more things not to do.

Man's supportive tweets and posts getting on everyone's tits

A MAN using social media to keep friends and relatives’ spirits up should just f**king stop, everyone has agreed.

Quaint old concept of 'days of the week' remembered

BRITAIN has cast its mind back to the old times when the days of the week were individually named and distinct from one another.

Britain wakes up to what the actual f**k

THE UK has woken up to what the f**k happened? We were all still doing normal stuff two weeks ago? Holy shit.

Six songs Brits can sing to keep morale up while in self-isolation

WHILE the Italians lift each other’s spirits with opera, British people can only yowl along to Wonderwall with their neighbours. And these classics.

The elderly parents' guide to getting coronavirus advice wrong

ARE you an older person determined to drive your children up the wall by misunderstanding every bit of coronavirus advice?

Waitrose limits food sales to people with detached houses

ANYONE who does not live in a detached house will be barred from shopping in Waitrose during the coronavirus crisis.