Society

A 28-YEAR-OLD woman has asked how many more years she has to spend pretending to like nightclubs.

WEARING denim can ward off old age and even prevent death altogether, it has emerged.

A DEPRESSED FHM reader has passed up the opportunity to ignite his anal gas, it has emerged.

A 38-YEAR-OLD Muslim working as a land surveyor in Northampton has been asked how he plans to stop ISIS.

THE Oxford English Dictionary has declared the ‘tears of joy emoji’ as Word of the Year before telling Britain to go f**k itself.

THE best place for the ‘Northern Powerhouse’ scheme is probably in London after all, the government has announced.

AMATEUR runners have their own rigid class system, it has emerged.

THERE is a high probability that the decadent western lifestyle will be maintained, it has emerged.

A HIPSTER riding an old bicycle through London has been judged the coolest motherf**ker in history.

A MAN is taking legal action after colleagues failed to reassure him when he joked about everything being in black and white when he was young.