Society

LECHEROUS builders who wolf-whistle at women must now behave similarly towards men.

ORDINARY Britons have demanded politicians stop being on the television.

BRITAIN’S economy has slowed after it realised it was living in a fantasy world.

BRITISH holidaymakers have been advised to steal a car rather than trying to rent one.

THE Guardian has condemned the middle-class gentrification of Brixton by its own readers.

A MAN who turns into the Hulk has revealed it never happens when he actually needs it.

DEVOTING your life to money-saving tips will cause you to die alone and unloved, experts have warned.

BARISTAS at Starbucks are permitted to draw erect penises on attractive customers’ cups, it has emerged.

THERE have been severe delays to London Underground’s Central Line because of difficulty crossing the swampy waters of the river Styx.

HOMEOWNER Julian Cook fears his life will become meaningless upon the completion of a six-year DIY project to create a guest bedroom.