Society

GIVING up on owning property could lead to dangerous behaviour like reading books or being interested in world events, it has been claimed.

A WRITER has invented ‘the chillaxed mega-mum’.

CHURCHES are preparing a lukewarm Easter welcome for fickle Christians who turn up twice a year.

FAST food outlets in poorer areas must become a bit fancy, it has been confirmed.

HOUSEGUESTS should be greeted with the wi-fi password at maximum volume, according to new etiquette guidelines.

DOGS have confirmed that they are immune to pet food scares.

BRITAIN’s cities are to be levelled and replaced with fancy flats for privileged idiots with rich parents.

ANYONE perpetrating April Fools' Day pranks can be legally murdered before midday, experts have confirmed.

MIMING the hand movements of DJing has finally overtaken air guitar solos.

A MAN has been deceived into thinking he is a professional chef by food websites and celebrity cookbooks.