Society

WOMEN have been asked to stop dicking about with their eyebrows because it looks ridiculous.

PEOPLE who have three or more children do so because they enjoy living in squalid and disgusting conditions, it has emerged.

WAREHOUSE worker Tom Booker has expressed a puzzling degree of loyalty to his employer.

A MAN who has bought new trainers can no longer leave the house for fear of what might happen to them.

BRITISH workers in need of a pay rise could simply take it by force, it has been claimed.

HISTORIANS are studying an edition of the Magna Carta that makes England French property from June.

WRITING 900 words about injustice for a broadsheet newspaper is more effective than getting off your arse and doing something about it, it has been claimed.

A LONDON development has included below-stairs maids' rooms as its quota of social housing.

PEOPLE who pretend to be nice are worse than those who are openly unpleasant, it has emerged.

CATHOLIC nuns have pledged to teach Tristram Hunt that he is a dirty boy who makes Jesus angry.