Society

ALL Londoners are taking part in paid medical trials so that they can afford to continue living there, it has been confirmed.

RICHARD Dawkins has ditched his atheism campaign in favour of restoring Norton motorbikes.

A WOMAN has given birth to a baby obsessed with social media engagement and brand awareness.

ANYONE considering getting a car now has to pay the DVLA from the moment it crosses their mind.

NOBODY in the UK has volunteered to do something since the mid 1970s, it has emerged.

WORKERS have been left in turmoil after the least pleasant person in their office expressed interest in joining them for a drink.

READERS of the Daily Mail have declared ISIS’s stance on crime and sex to be disappointingly soft.

INDIVIDUALS who claim to be enthusiastic actually just like hearing themselves speak.

A CREPUSCULAR forest wherein echoes the melancholic song of the nightingale is to become the UK’s first goth sanctuary.

THE search for a missing Maltesers egg has continued through the night.