Society

ANYTHING that makes you unhappy is a direct result of class war, it has been confirmed.

THE UK's home workers have hit out at TV advertisers' assumption that they are compensation-obsessed lowlives.

THE shattered glass walkway on Tower Bridge allows tourists to see London from the cracked perspective of a resident, it has been claimed.

A MAN has forfeited his basic human rights after returning a dented can of baked beans.

WHITE van drivers are the fulcrum upon which the world turns, it has been confirmed.

MILLIONS of Britons secretly enjoy Christmas and are actively looking forward to it.

THE  Rochester house covered in England flags is a Marxist commune, it has emerged.

A GOOD-LOOKING woman from a nice family has inexplicably failed to produce a cookery book.

THE UK’s last working porn-getter has retired.

THE word 'arm' has been deleted from the Oxford English Dictionary to accommodate 'vape'.