Society

VETS are charging up to £70 to stick a needle in a cat, it has emerged.

YOUR garden table and chairs have asked if they can come inside with the other furniture for a bit.

OVER 90 per cent of National Trust car sticker owners are career criminals, it has emerged.

DOCTORS will not use voluntary euthanasia laws to do lots of murders, they have confirmed.

THE UK Passport Office has insisted there would be no backlog in applications if everyone could just have the same name.

ALL women working in science have jacked it in to become bishops.

CONSTANTLY criticising your child’s school is a vital part of being a shit parent, it has been claimed.

THE possession of poor quality cannabis is no longer against the law, the government has confirmed.

BRITAIN is reeling under an onslaught of Pimm’s-fuelled violence and disorder due to forgetting that the summer drink is alcoholic.

TWITTER is being abandoned by users aged 16-24 in favour of the thriving and lawless Vanish Tip Exchange.