Society

AVOID ever going outside, experts have warned.

A MAN who had a near-death experience has returned with a refreshingly detailed account of the afterlife.

PROVINCIAL cities have hailed the capital’s boom in knobhead jobs as the best thing that's ever happened to them.

MEN who believe they are alpha males are deluded, it has emerged.

INDIVIDUALS who achieve useful things have no interest in looking or smelling good, it has been confirmed.

LONDON’S Victoria tube line is once again full of people whose lives are solidifying slowly into a large grey slab.

THE 'citizen's arrest' is just a plot device from 80s TV series The Dukes of Hazzard, it has emerged.

YOUNG people have begun leaving Facebook in the hope of finding a better virtual life elsewhere.

CRIME will continue to fall as long as benefits remain too generous, according to right-wingers who don’t know what they want anymore.

THE police could soon deploy maximised hydration techniques to stop concerted indiscipline by Britain’s social stakeholders.