Society

THE government's chief marksman Elmer Fudd has denied that the badger cull was essentially farcical.

MILLIONS of Britons have begun the new year by vowing to drink only in secret.

PEOPLE who have never had sex are the most likely to request aftershave or cologne as Christmas presents.

THE government is to make all towns more like the capital, with an increase in hostility and chicken shops.

WOMEN have called for an end to advertisements that show party preparation as a fun female bonding activity.

TRADITIONALISTS are in uproar after it emerged that the new plastic banknotes will carry Hitler's image.

TOY shops are to stop under-18s from buying their goods so they can go to collectors who properly appreciate them.

THE commission studying London’s airport needs has been urged to consider no airports at all.

PEOPLE now in their 30s will spend their retirement fleeing from government robots programmed to kill old people.

BRITONS are having to visit neighbours because they have their Amazon stuff.