Society

CHILDREN'S game Moshi Monsters has been attacked by parents for having characters named Cockmonger, Twatsy and Big Arsehole.

MIDDLE class people share 100 per cent of their genetic material with working class people, it has emerged.

38-YEAR-OLD Tom Logan has still not returned to work after the Christmas break, sparking widespread speculation.

THE term ‘social cohesion’ has left everyone in Britain utterly baffled, it has been confirmed.

BRITAIN is happy for north London to have a riot as long as it does not drag on for days.

THE average workers' commute now costs them more than they earn.

IT'S really not worrying that porn websites have information about users' whereabouts and habits, according to everyone.

NEWSPAPERS are hoping to increase readership by placing a randomly selected number at the start of each headline.

HIGH-STAKES gambling machines are the nearest poor people can get to the thrill of the stock exchange, according to bookmakers.

GRANDCHILDREN have confirmed that kissing elderly relatives is like putting your mouth against a crypt.