Society

Man trapped on bus after impromptu erection

A COMMUTER has missed his stop and is travelling away from work after spontaneously and for no reason suffering an erection.

Five punishments for living in the Home Counties those smug bastards definitely deserve

SMUG for too long, with their high house prices and better weather, Home Counties arseholes are now getting their comeuppance. Here’s how.

Totally unique Gen Z problems that have not affected anyone else before

EVERY generation thinks their problems are unique. Here member of Generation Z Josh Hudson explains the woes of his cohort that old people like you will never understand.

Five things dickheads say instead of 'please'

COMMON courtesy costs nothing, but some people prefer the pathetic ego trip of throwing their weight around. Here are the pseudo-insults they mistake for ‘please’.

Met applauded for their brave anti-woke stance

THE Metropolitan Police are taking a courageous stand against wokeness by being racist, sexist and homophobic.

Son feels like he's forgotten something

A SON has got the nagging feeling that he has forgotten to do something important today, it has emerged.

Pubs overrun with cultural appropriation

ENGLISH pubs are today awash with tacky hijackings of hallowed Irish culture, it has emerged.

Motorist with 20 years' experience still a bit shaky on roundabouts

A MAN who has racked up two decades on the roads still remains totally baffled whenever he encounters a roundabout.

Five perfectly normal things that dickheads have decided are woke

HAS the culture war distorted your worldview into that of a dickhead? Do you consider these everyday things to be woke overreach?

Six things that are wasted on young people, and it's not just because you're bitter and middle-aged

YOUNG people have the best of everything life has to offer and are too entitled to appreciate it, explains 49-year-old Joanna Kramer.