Society

MICHAEL Gove today called for everyone to get annoyed about the Queen's unrelenting pointlessness.

LOCAL authorities celebrated last night after a High Court ruling gave them the right to impound cars just totally on a whim.

EVERYONE has apologised for everything they have ever done, said, or spelled wrong.

SUPPORT for the high speed rail link between London and Birmingham was muted yesterday as nobody really wants to go there.

BRITAIN is to be dipped in antiseptic after hearing the oozing testimony of Kelvin Mackenzie.

DOZENS of popular candidates have emerged for the first round of semi-voluntary lethal injections.

A CAT that has returned to its owners after spending a week missing cannot recall where it has been.

SMOKERS who officially gave up on New Year's Day have clarified what 'giving up' actually means.

RACE has been named as today's topic about which Britain will talk angry, ill-informed shit.

MOST of Britain could cheerfully go on a three-day session after just one day back at work, it has emerged.