Columnists

SO there I was, walkin' the mean streets of West Hampstead with only a six-man camera crew and seven security advisors for company.  By the looks I was gettin' from some of the naughty local faces – Lucy, the Channel 4 documentary maker, Victor, the Classics teacher and Cameron, the web designer - I was beginnin' to feel like a Nick Love at the Cannes Film Festival.

Karen Fenessey It seems the media just can't help themselves when it comes to the Catholic Church. They'll pounce on the slightest slip-up and blow it out of all proportion. If we're not careful, this once magnificent institution, which has done so much for the people of Africa, will become nothing more than a pitiful community group like Alcoholics Anonymous or the Brownies.

Dispatches from Poppy Spalding Tuesday: Bogota AFTER being a total communist and gorging myself on kolbasa for almost two weeks, I decided to embark on the famous 'Trotsky trail' and jump on the next Aeroflot to South America. I'm sure if he'd been around today, he would never have gone to stinky Mexico and had communism with moustachioed artists. Like me, he would have come straight to Columbia to undulate frantically like the artist who gets her Ladyshave out once in a while: Shakira!

Karen Fenessey ANOTHER  Mother’s Day passes and once again we all take a moment to remember that special woman who sums up the entire event: Jade Goody. But can I be the only one who absolutely insists we look more closely at the legacy she has bequeathed us?

Despatches from Poppy SpaldingIT'S surely not just the president of Russia and me who found ourselves wondering during the women's parallel giant slalom 'is that as easy as it looks?'

By Karen FenesseyNO doubt when Britain's latest Euromillionaires have completed their cider-fuelled celebrations they will say a prayer to Jesus, Vishnu or whatever pagan wicker god they worship in Gloucestershire. But little do they know that the force of nature they should be thanking is me.

OH-my-God, I'm like, sooooooo busy at the moment - I haven't had any time to be down in the dumps, unlike the crowd of people I saw today standing at a bus stop in the rain. I told my driver to slow down and as he did, I poked my head out of the window and hollered, "Cheer up guys - it might never happen!" It doesn't matter how mega-stressed you're feeling, you've still got to find time for your fans...

Despatches from Poppy Spalding Friday: Greece This week I'm in Athens, the ancient city responsible for PE, maths and classics and, without which, there would have been no need for me to attend fifth form on a Tuesday.

Dispatches from Poppy SpaldingTHIS week finds me in Switzerland, home of chocolatey assault course, Toblerone and, more recently, randy holocaust survivor and film maker, Roman Polanski...

PEOPLE often say to me 'Karen, you've got some balls!' They put the emphasis on the word 'some' meaning that I am a woman to be reckoned with. However, for poor Caster Semenya, the people saying it are doctors and they put the emphasis on the 'balls' part.