Politics Headlines

Tories beaten by 'perfect storm' of Huhne, Rennard and nutjobs

THE Tories admitted there was no way they could have won the Eastleigh by-election as their opponents were either mired in scandal or completely insane.

Lib Dems to be replaced by dysfunctional family from east end of Glasgow

Lib Dems 'too sexy'

SENIOR Liberal Democrat men are to change the way they dress and act because they have become too sexy.

Cameron annoys all humans

DAVID Cameron is close to winning a £1 bet with Boris Johnson that he can annoy every single human.

Parliament 'too full of thieves'

Clegg basically resigns

NICK Clegg has basically resigned from everything he does.

Cameron launches Little Society

DAVID Cameron has unveiled his vision for the Little Society, consisting of the residents of Chipping Norton.

Plebgate 'could go all the way to the top of nothing'

AN alleged conspiracy to unseat former chief whip Andrew Mitchell could go right to the heart of absolutely nothing, it has emerged.

Osborne to blame everything on time machine

GEORGE Osborne will today blame Britain's economic woes on a time-travelling politician from the year 2044.

Boris demands fantasy version of Europe

BORIS Johnson has demanded a version of Europe that came to him in a dream.