Politics

THE prime minister has announced the UK’s latest half-arsed half-measures to stop the coronavirus spreading without really doing anything.

AS prime minister, let me say I am bloody pissed off. This was meant to be my year. Here’s what you as Britons can do to not upset me further.

DURING the budget you may have noticed that Tory spending is fine but Labour's was not. Here Tory MP Denys Finch Hatton explains why.

IN a crisis it’s important to feel you can trust your leaders. But we live in Britain, so here are the chancers and idiots standing between the country and disaster.

EVIL takes many forms, whether a child who is secretly the Antichrist or the MP for Witcham. Which are you?

BORIS Johnson’s opportune new baby and wedding have already covered up Priti Patel’s incompetence, but what else will they distract from?

WOULD you like to win a date with the UK’s shadow foreign secretary Priti Patel? Enter our unique competition for charity by answering these Priti-related questions. 

THE UK is slowly waking up to the fact that, in the face of an oncoming world catastrophe, it has chosen to put a d*ckhead in charge.

THERE'S always someone getting raked over the coals for exposing his penis in the news, so when is the right time to whip out the chinos cobra?

MI5 insiders have admitted withholding information from home secretary Priti Patel. What aren’t they telling her?