Politics

BIG Ben may not be bonging, but that’s no reason not to celebrate leaving the world’s largest trading bloc on January 31st.

BIG BEN bonging for Brexit is the worst charitable cause since a druggie with a stolen charity tin rattled it around the local, but the cretins who support it live among us.

THE prime minister has appeared on ITV’s breakfast television show for a tough interview with 1980s puppet presenter Roland Rat.

THE NEW Labour leader has to be tough, uncompromising, charismatic and a complete change of direction. Think The Rock. Or any of these.

THE prime minister’s girlfriend has claimed their relationship is just like in Love Actually, apart from his wife and four-to-six children.

A LABOUR MP who felt he should listen patiently to the concerns of an elderly constituent is deeply regretting it.

BORIS Johnson passed his Brexit bill when nobody was paying any attention. What else will he try and slip past?

REPUBLICANS have argued that Trump’s impeachment has lowered the standard for impeachment from its previous high point of an Oval Office chewy. 

LABOUR suffered their worst electoral loss since 1987 last week, and logically it must be someone’s fault. Who are you blaming?

I LIKE the North now it’s a Tory heartland, and I plan to spunk about £80 billion to keep it that way.