Politics

AS the UK records the worst death rates in Europe, the government has been keeping national morale up by diverting attention elsewhere. Here is some more nonsense to expect before too long.

AS the UK records the worst death rates in Europe, the government has been keeping national morale up by diverting attention elsewhere. Here is some more nonsense to expect before too long.

HAVE you been getting by on vague, waffling bullshit for years, but suddenly it’s not doing the trick?

DEALING with the opposite sex is tricky, particularly if you get a bit shirty with a lady MP and everyone accuses you of being a sexist. Here’s how to strike the right ‘tone’ with the ladies.

BEGINNING to think the government has ballsed things up but refuse to admit Boris might not be the new Churchill? Here’s what to tell yourself.

JACOB Rees-Mogg has retired to the family vault to wait out the next 150 years until humanity has recovered enough to deserve him again.

IS it impossible for the Left to be positive? Are they so blinded by ideology they can’t recognise this government’s achievements?

THE bookshelf of Sir Iain Duncan Smith has a full run of British pornographic magazine Fiesta hand-bound in leather, photos have confirmed.

THE government has confirmed they have contingency plans in place in case Boris Johnson begins making good decisions.

THE prime minister has warned that lockdown measures may remain in place for months because of how badly they have f**ked this up.