Politics

THE Queen has told Theresa May that her useless do-nothing sons would be better at running Britain.

THE UK has handed in its resignation because it is not prepared to work under Boris Johnson as prime minister, it has confirmed.

AN organisation of elderly fascists known as ‘the Tory grassroots’ is to install a megalomaniac man-child as ruler of the UK.

THE UK is waiting to find out who has won a Nigel Farage lookalike contest and will be awarded the grand prize of Britain.

SOMETIMES it’s hard to tell if you’re the sort of whiny Remoaner that Brexiters hate or you if just prefer logic and stability over years of unnecessary horsesh*t. Take our test and find out.

THE House of Commons has voted to give Boris Johnson a solid boot in the stones before he even starts. 

THEY are taking their damn time about it, but Brexit is due to take place later this year. But how will it barely affect the upper classes?

WHAT ho! If there’s one thing I’ve learned in life, it’s that sometimes you can’t avoid kissing the a*se of an unstable orange buffoon. Here’s how to do it.

JEREMY Corbyn yesterday announced Labour’s new cock-up of a Brexit policy that nobody will vote for. But how will it fall apart in practice?

BREXIT deal? I would have got the best deal in 20 minutes, maximum. Here’s how it should have been done: