Politics

A PACK of slavering, rabid dogs has advised the Conservative party to bury their differences and work together.

THE leaked Tory ‘sleaze spreadsheet’ is political dynamite that will bring down the government, according to a man who has not heard of any of them.

THE prime minister faces the enviable job of choosing a new rising star to be defence minister from the Tories’ stellar array of talent.

SIR Michael Fallon has confirmed that his sexual transgressions make him unfit to be defence minister but, luckily, still fine to be a Tory MP.

THE best way to stamp out sexual harassment in parliament is to pay MPs more if they promise not to do it, it has been claimed.

TORIES are throwing everything behind an attempt to enter the record books as the most f**ked-up British government of all time. 

UNIVERSITIES have confirmed they teach that Brexit is incredibly brilliant but not quite up there with communism. 

UNIVERSAL Credit is to be reformed but out of self-interest not human decency, Tories have revealed.

TORY MP Jacob Rees-Mogg believes that despite the prime minister’s attempts to appease Germany, Britain is once again on the verge of World War Two.

A SELFISH bastard is putting Britain’s excellent Brexit plan at risk by thinking about the consequences.